Gospel-Centered Parenting

A few days ago, I read Jen Hatmaker's post on parenting in our generation. I totally love this post. As a new parent, I am obviously really interested in parenting advice. As a person with a brain, I know that most parenting advice is crap. As a 4th grade special ed inclusion teacher at a public K-8 school, I am surrounded by the progeny of parents who "worry endlessly, interfere constantly, safeguard needlessly, [and] overprotect religiously" (to quote Hatmaker). Kids today are so ENTITLED! They can't fathom a world in which they aren't always right and always given everything they want. I would never have spoken to a teacher the way these kids do. But I digress.

This post led to yet another discussion about parenting with my husband, Matt. We have these conversations all the time, even though our son is only 4 1/2 months old and we can't use a lot of these ideas yet. I am enough of a product of my generation that I want to be the "perfect" parent and to raise the "perfect" children. Which leads to me putting undue stress on myself to do everything right, right from the beginning. I don't want Connor to watch TV until he's 2 years old, because it can inhibit language development. (He's already discovered Elmo.) I want to use baby sign language with him so that he can communicate with me before he starts talking, and because it can increase language development. (I occasionally remember to use the sign for milk. That's about it.) I don't want him using technology (such as smart phones, tablets, etc.) until he's closer to school age, so that he doesn't become a baby zombie. (He's already very interested in my iPhone.) 

Etc., etc.

It's impossible for imperfect people to be perfect parents or to provide the perfect childhood. Our child is also not the perfect child. He is a sinner, just as we are. 

Matt and I agreed that our fundamental hope and desire for Connor (and his future siblings) is that he grow up to love Jesus. But that's not something we can guarantee or force. Providing the "perfect" childhood will not ensure it. Protecting Connor from every worldly influence will not secure his faith in Christ. We have to rely on the grace of God to work in Connor's heart as he grows up. We can only hope that Connor sees the reality of our relationships with Christ in our lives and wants the same for himself. 

In light of the realization that we can't be perfect parents and we can't raise the perfect child, we have to turn to the perfect Savior. Our parenting decisions shouldn't be based on what our friends are doing, what that parenting book told us to do, or what seems most likely to produce a perfectly obedient Christian prodigy, but on the Gospel. I don't want to be so overprotective and strict that Connor runs screaming from our house at 18 and straight into the nearest brothel. (Or the equivalent.) I also don't want to take protecting his mind and heart lightly. Where is the balance? I have NO idea! (lol) But our hope and prayer is that if we make our parenting decisions over the next few decades based on the Gospel -- "major[ing] on the majors and minor[ing] on the minors," as Hatmaker put it -- hopefully we will honor God with our feeble attempts at raising this precious child He has given us.